The Woodworm Men combines camping chaos, ghostly humour, and surprising lessons as Alison, Mike, and the spirits navigate an unexpected outdoor adventure, writes GEMMA JOHNSON
The Woodworm Men ranks number four on my top 10 all-time favourite episodes of Ghosts, and with very good reason – there are so many iconic moments here.
This episode sees the arrival of woodworm men who come to treat the woodworm outbreak at Button House. Alison and Mike find themselves needing to vacate the house, and they decide to camp out in the woods. The ghosts, unaffected by the poison treatment, largely choose to join in, much to the delight of Captain and Pat, who engage in a ‘camp-off’, testing their outdoor skills.
I am not a camper at all. I did it once many years ago when I was a Brownie, and I hated every moment of it. It was cold, the ground was hard, the toilets were beyond gross, and I feared an animal would attack me in the night. It seems I’m not the only one. In the words of Robin, “It fun until a wolf eat your eye.” Thank you, Robin – I feel heard.
Another favourite exchange takes place outside the house as Mike emerges, reluctant but adamant that he is ‘outdoorsy’, directing the conversation to the ghosts as he looks upwards. Cue Thomas: “Why does he always talk to us as though we are up in the air?” Alison delights in proving him otherwise by reeling off many examples where Mike was not outdoorsy, including the time he left Glastonbury to find a toilet. Having seen and heard the horror stories of Glastonbury toilets, I don’t blame Mike for that one.
Meanwhile, Mary is convinced the woodworm men are demons. Fanny is getting bored with the silence, Julian is sleeping, and Robin is trying to complete the crossword. Kitty is ready to watch Grease and swoon over Danny Zuko. We’ve all been there, Kitty – no judgement from me! But meddling Julian changes the channel, and Kitty ends up watching Nightmare on Elm Street. Mind you, Freddy Krueger is an icon, and everyone should watch him at least once, so…
Pat is lusting over Alison, drinking a brew, and dunking her biscuits. Julian and Robin get spooked and run through the woods. Kitty becomes a nervous wreck, and all the ghosts end up sleeping in Alison’s tent. But all is well, as both Alison and Captain receive an honorary camping badge from Pat, who is bursting with pride at the skills he has taught them. Mike fared less well and was very much my spirit animal in this episode.
Takeaway lessons from this episode: Appreciate the simple things in life, and think of your resident ghost next time you dunk a biscuit.
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